Doctor Who?
Would I lie to you? Yes, just once. This is the fifth and final instalment of 'Five Close Encounters Of The Starry Kind' (my latest Substack posts). Four are totally true, one is not.
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Digital Photo Mashup © Steve Swindells
Bath (the beautiful UK city). Early 2024.
I never get bored. I’m way too interesting for that.
Very occasionally I go out to a bar. Over £5 a pint? Damn! And a taxi home. Just too goddamn expensive.
Mandalyns in Bath is a very friendly, funky and fierce gay bar in Bath, but, it welcomes everyone.
On one occasion that I went there a couple of years ago, there was a whole rugby team party going on - I kid you not. All these handsome, athletic, sexy, big-assed, hormone-dripping, suited and booted MEN were having the time of their life in a gay bar.
You couldn’t make it up.
I must confess that it was well-fucking sexy!
Earlier this year, I ventured out of my comfort zone (is that as bad a cliche as journey?) and decided to take the rather pleasant walk, over the canal and the river: to Mandalyns (about 15 minutes) to hang out and have a drink or three.
When I arrived, I was a 71-year old with a mission. BAR STOOL.
My wish was immediately granted. And, better still, who is this handsome, young black man sitting immediately to my right?
I put my jacket on the stool and sit down on top of it.
HYBM smiles at me, a dazzling smile, and nods hello.
My heart melts.
OMFG! It’s fucking Ncuti Gatwa!
I never watched Sex Education (saw clips, it seemed a bit bratty), but evidently, Ncuti was the stand-out star.
Now he’s about to be Doctor Who. I saw the preview. Ruby something. It was brilliant.
And I’m sitting next to him in a gay bar in Bath.
He was also in Bambi!
I decide to pretend that I didn’t know who he is (just for fun, like I did with a famous rock star in a first-class carriage on a train back from Cornwall in 2010).
I buy a pint of lager (his looks full). £5.40. Damn!
We do a cheers clink.
I ask him ‘Do you live in Bath? (knowing that he doesn’t)’
‘No,’ he says, ‘I live in London, but spend a lot of time in Cardiff…’ with another flash of that dazzling smile.
‘So what are you doing in Bath?’ I ask, actually not knowing, obviously.
‘Oh, I’ve been channelling Bridgerton,’ he says, with a slight air of mystery.
I’m loving this!
Bath and Bridgerton are linked, of course, as much of it was filmed here. I gave up on the first episode, a few years back: it was utter crap, soft porn, terrible script (but Lord Hastings was fucking hot).
‘I’m Steve.’ I said.
‘I’m Ncuti.’ he replied (cue dazzling smile overdose).
‘Nice name. So you’re involved with Bridgerton?’ I asked, knowing of course, that he wasn’t.
‘No, but I am in a way.’ He said, with a wink.
‘I am the doctor’
‘Doctor who?’ I asked.
‘Precisely!’ He responded.
©Steve Swindells all rights reserved. 2024.